10 Tips to Regain Your SANEity and Transform Your Life with Jonathan Bailor #SANE

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Jonathan: Hey, what’s going on everybody? I’m Jonathan Bailor and April Perry and we are back with another episode of the SANE show and an exciting top ten type of list show that April has prepared for us today.

April: Well, I’ve been SANE now for almost three years. Yes, just about three years and there had been some big changes. I’m actually thinking about what has been the biggest difference in my life now that I have been SANE and been learning from you for so many years. And that’s why I put together a quick top ten list to be able to help other people who might be considering the same lifestyle or who are trying to start and want to know if it’s worth it because I never stuck with a routine for eating or exercise for more than maybe three or four months in the past. To be able to live this way for three years and I have no intention of stopping, that’s a big deal for me, I’m just super grateful.

This is like my hats off to Jonathan and the same program. I’m just going to just walk through and I thought I could share my little top ten list and I’m sure you have some other experiences or ideas or counsellor or advice to offer as we go through. Sounds good?

Jonathan: Sounds awesome. Starting from the top.

April: Number one is I buy a lot of vegetables. I have to just start with that one because before going SANE I had vegetables and they were in my fridge but I wasn’t walking out of the grocery store with a cart full of vegetables. So now it’s not just by one bag of spinach. It’s buying multiple bags of spinach. It’s buying multiple bags of broccoli and celery and carrots and tomatoes, and kale and Brussel sprouts. I mean, Brussel sprouts I never had Brussel sprouts before. There are a lot of things I just had never even tried and learning especially how to eat green vegetables and just buy them in bulk.

I just have to say I think that’s I think the number one difference that not only help me to be able to feel better but just to be able to have my body just be stronger and look better too.

Jonathan: You’re 100% on the right track, April. The research and all the experience we’ve had with our members and clients over the past decade tells us one very simple thing that I would encourage everyone to write down which is your health, your appearance, and your energy are proportionate to the amount of vegetables you eat. Period. That’s it. There is the secret.

April: I totally agree.

Jonathan: There is the secret right there.

April: So I love that. So, that would be number one. At number two is I’m not afraid of food anymore. I realized as I’ve been thinking back to my life, I mean, I used to always look at food in terms of calories. Foods that had higher calories I was more afraid to eat. I didn’t’ think of food as fuel of my body. I just thought of it as what’s the minimum that I could eat to maybe satisfy my hunger but not eat too much.

I was always thinking like if there was a chocolate cake or pie or ice cream it was I’d better not get near that. I’d better go brush my teeth first so I won’t eat and be tempted. It was always trying to avoid food so that I wouldn’t feel bad. Even things like restaurants when my husband and I would have a date and we’re going to a dinner with another couple I would panic because I  was well I know I’m going to eat too much in there and I won’t be able to count calories. I was just so worried so I’d starve myself the whole day so I could eat dinner.

I feel like just not being afraid of food, that’s huge.

Jonathan: That is tremendously huge and it inspired— this would have sound a little bit silly but I think maybe it was Shakespeare or someone else from history who said something like nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so. What we’ve learned from all the science that saying is that calories or not good or bad but sanity that makes them so.

There are absolutely calories that make us sick and sad and they are absolutely calories that make us happy and healthy. And, if we eat more of those happy, healthy calories, so that we’re too for the sick and sad calories, things become simple and SANE real quick.

April: Well, and that’s just been so huge like I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate that because to be able to actually enjoy eating again, well, it’s so fun. I just feel so grateful.

Number three, I don’t weight or measure myself anymore. I just use my clothes as a gauge and how I feel and I love that because I used to be on the scale every morning. I would be charting, tracking, measuring, writing down, and feeling like, I wasn’t doing this consciously but sub-consciously I was evaluating my worth as a person by what number said.

Now, it’s not only that I’m like avoiding the scale or I’m purposely not measuring myself, it’s that I honestly don’t even think about it. I’m just like, “Okay, let’s go on with the day.” I don’t even have a scale but I just don’t even ever given consider stepping on it because I just don’t feel the need to.

So, that alone that can save me so many hours, I can’t even tell you.

Jonathan: That fits right in the bucket of vegetables. Therefore we say people want to know what is the secret, what is the trick, what are the seven habits of the most highly SANE people, people who achieved long term sane success don’t weigh themselves, period.

If you want to emulate people who have happy, healthy lives please stop weighing yourself.

April: Yes, so amazing. It just makes me so happy. I can’t even tell you.

Okay, at number four, this is a big one. I think of myself as an instrument and not as an object. You and I have a lot of conversations about this where I felt like there’s external pressure a lot of it spurred by the media that I needed to look a certain way, have perfectly toned arms, look awesome in a swimsuit, even though like logistically I could be a grandmother in three years, which totally scares me but I could be.

I mean, it was a big shift for me because I used to when I would leave the house, I would focus more on, “Will people think I look overweight or will people think I don’t look appropriate,” or something like that. Like, I just had this fear of what other people were going to be thinking of me or how do I look in that picture, or I’m just judging myself that way.

It’s so funny it’s just kind of happens slowly over the past three years. It wasn’t like an instant thing but now when I go somewhere or when I’m in pictures or when I’m around new people, I’m just focusing on how is that person and how can I connect with that person or could I be of help to other people, or what can I do with my life to do my mission and be able to make the world better, like that’s what I’m thinking about. I don’t have any thoughts going into, I wonder how I look in this shirt, or I wonder someone not approves of me. That’s another huge one and that’s amazing.

Jonathan: April, it warms my heart to hear that because at the end of the day I think the reason we want to pursue health and the reason we want to pursue whatever appearance we desire is because we believe it will give us a feeling. We believe it will make us feel and experience life in a certain way. And, wouldn’t it be neat if feeling and experience in life and that way could be something that we just choose to start doing today and then health, transformations, and appearance transformations in sue?

Like, we tend to think that the health and the appearance transformation have to happen first before we can feel that way but the irony is that modern psychology has proven that if we give ourselves permission to feel that way, we will act in the way that causes us to manifest that long term health and the appearance that we desire.

So we flip the order and we get phenomenal results.

April: Yes. It’s amazing and really I owe a lot to you for that because just being able to make that shift, there are so many things that I’ve now been able to do with my life that there is no way I would have been able to do it if I was still sitting around on the scale, starving myself, trying to please some person out there. I just couldn’t do it. I just wouldn’t do it. So, huge.

Number five, I’m never hungry and sad. I can’t even tell you how great that is. You know I’m part of some Facebook groups where there are people who are starving themselves and trying to lose their weight and they are encouraging each other. You can do it. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Just don’t eat. Or someone, there was someone in one of my groups who was on this special diet and starving herself and she’s like, “Yes, my Mom came to visit and I told her about all my success with my new diet.” She’s like, “Oh, okay. Well, maybe I’ll start eating that way, too.” But then around eight o’clock that night she said, “Well, I’m really hungry. Couldn’t I eat just vegetables or just something before I go to bed?” I told her no. You got to not eat because you got to wait until tomorrow.

My Mom said, “Well, I guess I’ll just go to bed early then,” and so my Mom went to bed so that she didn’t have to be hungry anymore. I want to cry when I read that because I just thought, you know what, I lived like that for years and I watched my Mom live like that all growing up. Ceiling off at six o’clock no matter how hungry you are, you’re done eating.

To feel that food is a really bad thing that you can’t eat if you’re hungry and that you not only just can’t eat it but you can’t even interact with your family or enjoy your evening because now you better go to sleep to make you r life more tolerable that just… it rips my heart like that. I can’t handle that and I just feel so grateful that if I choose to be hungry like if I’m fasting for religious purposes or I’m choosing not to eat a pizza at a party and I’m going to wait like at home, fine. I can choose to be hungry but I’m not sad about it. I’m deliberately making that choice.

But that whenever my stomach is, oh, it’s time to eat, I can just go eat until I’m full and then go on with my life, and that’s transformative too.

Jonathan: It’s transformative, April and we’ve got the whole show about this. So I have not got to say all the things I want to say, I would take too long. But one, you said so many wise things. But one of the things that I would encourage people to think as well is that if someone just said, “I am going to choose to be thirsty for the rest of my life,” people would kind of be like, “Why?” Like, this is it, why would you do that? Why would you be thirsty or tired like why would you be sleep deprived for the rest of your life and why would the human body require thirst or tiredness or hungriness to thrive? In fact, that’s a paradox.

To say that I have to be hungry or tired or thirsty to thrive is an oxymoron. That’s like saying I have to jump on water to stay dry. It doesn’t actually make sense and that’s because there’s all of this cultural emotional baggage around food and if SANE can help for you from that then I can tell you we’re— the entire SANE team is very happy.

April: I know. I agree. I think that’s one of the biggest ones. And, kind of going with that at number six is I’m way more just relaxed. I didn’t realize how much stress it was putting on me to always be thinking about my calories, and have me get to the gym yet, did I weigh myself yet, but those were thoughts every day. Like get up in the morning, got to get the kids out to school and I can’t eat yet because I have to get to the gym and work out so I can get home and weigh myself just to have the number lower before I could eat anything or drink anything.

That alone, I mean, and I feel a little embarrassed to even admitting that but I felt I need to say it because I know there are people listening right now who are doing that exact same thing. The number of times I was snapping at my family because I was hungry or I was upset with my husband because I was depressed about my body, I just think about all the things that are happening I was uptight. I mean, I wasn’t like a bad person. You’re not a bad person when you’re dieting but I was not relaxed and happy.

the number of times now that I’m laughing, that we turn on music, I play duets with Aliyah on the piano, we go to play our dogs, our puppy is so cute, and we’re like playing with the toys and throwing the ball, and just having fun together. My kids, I have three teenagers now, and then a little nine year old, we have fun together. I would not be experiencing that if I were hungry and stressed and focused on trying to starve.

Jonathan: The default state of humans is one of happiness and one of health. No baby comes out of the womb with a severe anxiety. But we lose that, the baggage comes in and it crowds us out and this calorie counting massagenistic evaluate your worth by your weight is part of that. But you can break free from that and get back to the default state of the default state for humans is a healthy body weight. The default state for humans is energy. The default state for humans is happiness and relaxation. That is the default state.

So if we can free ourselves from all these calorie baggage the default state is pretty amazing.

April: I love that you mentioned that because it’s true. When you have a little baby, oh my gosh. They are smiling and laughing and just having so much joy and we lose that joy. You’re right. I feel like that I’m getting that back ten folds because I lived so long the other way I think I just appreciate it even more where I’m waking up excited and I’m noticing that if there are other stresses in my life I’m more quick to figure out what to do to get rid of those because I know how it feels to be happy and if I could solve it in the food area I could also solve it in the mental health area, and I could solve it in the relationship area, and the finance area.

So I feel like it gave me a really strong win where not only health wise I might doing way better but now my whole life this is really good. I’m so happy. I’m so grateful.

Okay, number seven. I have a ton more energy. This is so fun because I didn’t even realize how lethargic I was. I mean, and as I’ve been talking or experiencing these Facebook groups or people who are starving themselves they have no energy, really. Like, that it’s sad. It’s honestly like I’m going to sit around and not try to do anything and not think. Alright, I had some goals for the day to organize but I just can’t even do it because I’m hungry so I’m just going to sit still and starve.

People honestly think that that’s okay. They think that that’s like valiant and noble and that’s what I used to think. Well, I’m doing a really good job starving myself and so let me just sit here and do that. But now, I mean, I have this much energy as I need. I mean, yes, I do have some sleep issues, I’m working on that because I wake [00:44:31]. But overall just eating these healthy foods I just feel like I’m way more energetic than I ever was before.

Jonathan: It is very, very difficult for our car to run without gasoline. It is impossible for a human being to thrive without fuel. I know again it sounds obvious but if you don’t eat enough food you will not be able to live your fullest life. I’m happy that you’re able to live your fullest life now.

April: Well, some people would argue and say like well you don’t need that much food to live. Like you can live on a lot less if you want to look at a certain way. It’s like decide how much you want to weigh and then eat the amount of food that’s going to keep you there. But that’s doesn’t make me healthy, energetic and thriving. That makes me skinny and hungry and I guess you could choose hat.

Jonathan: Absolutely. And, you could live having no other people in your life and you could life in island by yourself in complete isolation but I’m not sure if that’s the optimal way to live.

April: Right.

Jonathan: You could live with only a dollar a day. In fact, about a billion people around the world live on a dollar a day.

April: Have you seen that Netflix documentary called a dollar a day?

Jonathan: No, not.

April: It’s so good. Right.

Jonathan: So anyway. So life of lack can still be a life but why would be pursue it?

April: Yes, love it. Okay, number eight. This is like a huge one. These are all like huge. Can you tell my life has been so influenced for good to hear Jonathan? It’s like payday for you. Number eight is I don’t compare myself negatively to other women. Okay, this is huge for me because before if I saw a woman who is really toned and muscular and like how you taught me, I’m like unnaturally healthy, I would think, “I’m a loser. I’m failing. I’m not as good as she is.” And, I would totally compare myself.

Now, here’s what I ask myself. I’m not against her for being tall and looking beautiful. That’s what she wants and it’s great. But here’s what I ask. I’d say, “is having an unnaturally fit body more important to me than the priorities I have in place right now?” And then I would just assess my life, the time I’m spending with my husband, with my children, my parents, the work that I’m doing, the staff in my community, the time I’m spending sleeping and enjoying my family and my joy, do I want to trade any of that right now because I know what I could do like if I want to look more like her, okay, I’m going to be super super SANE and I’m going to be super careful in every little thing I eat. I’m going to be at the gym more and I’m going to be really working out. If I want that I can have it.

I think that’s what exciting is like now it’s not like, “Oh, I wish I could get there.” Now, it’s like, I want to put into my life what it would take to get that. But right now the answer is no and maybe someday I might be a little more into that but right now I’m not. I love that I don’t. It’s not a comparison now. It’s just like, okay, that’s her priority but it’s not my priority.

Jonathan: Focusing on the distinction of priorities is essential, April, and I— one of the ways that I do this in my own line somewhere to you is I think about it like running a marathon. If you want to run a marathon, you can. It’s got to take a bunch of training.

April: And some people love it.

Jonathan: And, some people love it and you can do it and you’re going to have to not do other things. I think we’d all agree that to run a marathon you will have to do that instead of some other things. If you’d like to do it instead of other things, rock and roll. But if you consciously choose not to, it’s all good, no shame needed.

April: I love that. No, absolutely true. So that’s just been a huge opener for me. Next is I’m able to direct my energy toward achieving my bigger goals and I’ve talked a little bit about this in the first eight but that’s what’s been so fun as I looked back at the last three years of my life and I feel like, you know, my life is good. It’s moving forward and upward and it was in a good direction. But the last three years it’s been like a dramatic shift up. I mean, just like, okay, now I’m ready. I mean, just things in how good my relationships are.

I wrote a book for my Mom. She’s dying of Alzheimer’s and I’ve been reading it to her every week when I go to visit and taking my kids where they get to see my Mom and Dad next to each other towards the end of her life. I mean, how beautiful is that to see that every single week I’m being able to have a close relationship with God, building our business, and I’m getting more education and training, taking courses classes.

Our family just found a new home that’s like perfect for our family. I’m so excited. So we’re moving in. We close in one month. I can’t wait like everything is just like coming into place.

Now, have there also been hard things? Yes, of course like I’ve had some ups and down and everyone has hard things in life. So I’m not afraid to admit that but overall the general direction has just become so wonderful and it’s not like SANE was the cause. Like, it’s because I start eating vegetables all of a sudden my life just became amazing but it was a domino. It is domino effect and had a huge difference.

Jonathan: I think a good way to frame it, April is, imagine that for the first 20, 30, 40, 50 years of our lives, we had the flu. We didn’t know it because so many other people had the flue which is just like, oh, but think about how you feel when you have the flu. Think about the impact that has on your life and think about a human being that felt that way for 40 years. Then, in the 41st year they didn’t feel that way anymore.

Now, that in and of itself wouldn’t make them have a tremendous relationship. That in and of itself wouldn’t cause them to reach all their financial goals. That in and of itself wouldn’t do all these things, but it would certainly point them in the direction to do all of those things a lot quicker and a lot easier.

April: It’s so true. I mean, [00:50:17] our business we help people to get clear of clutter and get rid of paperwork and show them, you don’t have to be drowning in piles anymore. There was one of our participants in our program who, she said that, she’s like working full time she’s getting her Master’s and she had two pre-schoolers.

She said, when I would come home from work, I would look around my dirty house and my messy house and I was filled with a self loathing of like, “Why can’t I get my act together. You know, why am I in mess?” So she wouldn’t want to do anything. She would just kind of keep going.

So she came into our program, completely revamped her whole house, everything, got everything organized, and she’s like after keeping— I’ve kept the downstairs totally clean for three weeks. The whole thing is clean. So now my husband and I talking about of getting a foster child. We’d like really want to be foster parents. And then she just emailed me like a month ago and she’s like, you know what, we just moved closer to my family. I don’t know we could move.

But once we cleaned up all the mess I’m like, hey we can move. And they moved and they’re so happy to be near their family. It was like just sometimes when you’re just buried whether it’s clutter and paper or whether it’s starving myself and I don’t have energy because I’m so tired and sick, like it does, it opens up your mind and it creates space. It creates space for you to actually then create and do something way better.

Jonathan: Sometimes just clearing out that which blocks us or Steven Colby would say taking our foot off the break can be tremendously more effective than pushing on the gas harder and harder while the break is still on.

April: I totally agree.

Alright, number ten, last one is I feel like the diet and exercise part of my life is finally solved. Now, what I love is that like yes I don’t feel like have this perfect body and I’m out there to be a swimsuit model. That wasn’t really what I was going for anyway but I feel like I’m finally to the point where I’m happy with myself. You know what? I’m taking good care of myself. I’m sleeping and drinking water and eating healthy foods and I’m walking and going to gym occasionally and enjoying my family.

Like, I finally got to the point where I’m not always feeling like I’m less than or I’m not quite there, I’m not quite good enough. It’s not that feeling anymore. It’s like I’m doing well and if there’s ways I could improve, sure, and I will continue to improve and learn how to make better smoothies and learn how to make better food and exercise, and have additional weights because I’m doing my eccentric weights like I’m still improving but I’m not improving because I don’t think I’m enough. Now, I’m improving because I’m excited to continue growing and that’s just been amazing. So that’s my top ten.

Jonathan: April, I loved that you closed on that one because you gave a probably better definition than I’ve ever given of the ultimate objective of SANE living and that is what we call nutritional serenity which it’s not—our goal is not to give you six pack abs. We can show you I have six pack abs but that’s not the goal of our program. Our goal isn’t to make you better. The cause of our goal isn’t to make you a marathon runner or our goal isn’t to make you better than other people. Our goal is to help you achieve nutritional serenity. And, the definition of that is what April just said.

April: Thank you. I would try to give you a standing ovation right now. My [00:53:31] is broken so here I am.

Jonathan: That’s all a clap for all the tremendous researchers who have been again I am just a mouthpiece for our thousands and thousands of researchers who have dedicated their lives to this information and it’s just buried in the academic journals. Our goal is to make it accessible for everybody so that they can achieve nutritional serenity like you have, April. So thanks for being an embodiment of that.

I hope this top ten list is helpful for people. And, if you’ve also had this experience, write into us. Let us know if you have things in common here with April because I’ve heard a lot of things and I know a lot of people are also enjoying. So keep it in mind. Use it as a guide and remember, stay SANE.

Watch out you soon.